Ein Bier Bitte!!

Seriously...was a 29 minute flight worth it from Richmond to Dulles...I've had shits that last longer than that....no kidding. I guess it was worth a bit, I made a friend...well, she could have easily been my mother but we were sitting next to each other, she had never flown alone, was a military mom, and was travellling to Germany as well...plus she was a MILF. And she was fun, we made fun of many people, including the steroid freak carrying the Victoria Secret bag, sans a woman. The pond hop was less than adventurous, except when we hit severe turbulance while my pants were around my ankles and I was trying to crap. (note to self: always poop before climbing to 37,000 ft, any and all gas expands and builds up and hurts) A little sleep helped, and soon enough we were on the ground in Pittsbur....I mean Frankfurt, but I wouldn't have known it wasn't Pittsburgh if it weren't for all the German, the weather was identical.) What a crazy airport scene though...I had to disembark via stairs directly onto the tarmac, walk about a 100 meters to a bus, ride the bus ten minutes to the terminal, go up one escalator, through Passport control, down an escalator, around a bend, down a 200 meter halway with pointless sets of doors, down another escalotor, and through another set of doors, all to get to baggage claim...thankfully no lost baggage. I then had a three hour ride on the Autobahn sandwiched between my sponsor and another soldier who drove him up in smallest bench seat of a European van you've ever seen. The Autobahn isn't nearly as sexy as people make it out to be, although the highlight of the drive was when we stopped to get some fuel and almost killed a man riding a chopper motorcylce with apehangers....in the pouring rain....crazy euros. Turns out tonight was also a battalion Hail & Fairwell, so I my first introduction to my chain of command was over some delicious hefeweizen at The Hotel Christel owned and operated by the most delightful middle aged lady who is a Austrian Ski Champion and the Governator's second cousin, I shit you not. Several people seemed concerned that I was drinking the hefeweizen after my over 24 hours of travelling...they've obviously never drank with me and my friends.

Hallo von Bamberg, Deutschland!